A Chat With a Certain Female Supreme Court Justice Nominee
These are the questions that should have been asked:
Question: What is a woman?
SC Justice Nominee: I don’t know. I’m not a biologist.
Q: Oh. Well, are you a man?
A: No, I’m not a man.
Q: Then you are a woman.
A: Your question implies that we can know the difference between a man and a woman. Only a biologist knows for sure.
Q: But you just said you aren’t a man. Are you a biologist?
A: No, I’ve already said I’m not a biologist.
Q: Then, how do you know you’re not a man.
A: I’m not a man.
Q: But if only a biologist knows for sure, and you say you aren’t a biologist, then how do you know you aren’t a man? Is it possible that you are a man and don’t know it?
A: (Silence)
Q: Is it possible you are a woman and don’t know it?
A: I’m not a biologist.
Q: You’ve already said that. So it is your position that only biologists know what men and women are? Are you a veterinarian?
A: No, I’m not a veterinarian.
Q: Do you know what a dog is? Or is it your position that only vets know what dogs are?
A: (Silence)
Q: (Looking around the room) Does anybody in here not know what a dog is? (Looking back at nominee) Are you a botanist? Do you know what a tree is?
A: These questions are ridiculous.
Q: No, it is your answers that are ridiculous. We all know what dogs and trees are, but only a trained biologist can know what a woman is. Or a man. You say you are not a man, but you won’t tell us how you know that. And you won’t say you are a woman.
A: Yes, I am a woman.
Q: How do you know you are a woman? Did you ask a biologist?
A: (Silence)
Q: Why don’t you ask a vet? Maybe you are a dog. Ask a botanist. Maybe you are a tree. Ask a psychiatrist if you are an idiot. I’m sure the answer to that question would be “yes”...